Hello

I started my first novel, Emmett's Story, when I was thirteen. I finished writing it when I was seventeen, but editing and publishing took another year or so before I had things truly figured out. Even now, I'm constantly learning about what it takes to create books of your own, but I still believe what I did when I first started, which is that the primary requirement is determination. Growing up, I was always determined to do the best I could at most anything I try. Some people see that trait in me and feel that I'm being competitive or trying to beat other people, but the reality is that I'm constantly competing with myself to grow as a person, to follow through with goals, and to keep the promises I make to myself and to those around me. 

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I think it's important to never stop competing with yourself. One sentiment that I have lived by for as long as I can remember is this: even if I fail at something, I won't carry regret for trying as long as I know I did my best. If I already did everything I was capable of, what's left to regret? Trying at all? Failure is just a different experience, and it's bound to happen plenty to anything with a pulse. So, why worry about trying new things?

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Anyway, that's a real glimpse into my mindset, and it describes how I view the writing process, but anyone who came here from my poetry might be like, "Woah, this optimistic stuff is NOT the vibe I got from her poetry." That's fair. I'm not optimistic by nature, of course. That's why I've got to come up with logical concepts like the one above to keep my head up high. The only two options you will ever have in a given situation are to be crushed by the weight of the world or to persist and keep on despite the pressure. Some of us are carrying more weight than others, but we are still presented with the same two options: to persist or concede.

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The heavier elements of both my novels and my poetry come from some of the different weights I've carried, including those that I still carry. My two life-long rivals are bipolar disorder and Fibromyalgia. A recent foe of mine was an ankle injury that left me unable to walk for two years. Whether it's physical or emotional, most every hurdle that comes my way feels like the one that will break me, the reason I'll give up on my ideals and my dreams. Often, however, I think about who might be going through the same things I am. That imaginary person needs just one person in the whole world to know what they're carrying, and if I or one of my characters could be that one person, I feel I've added enough to the world in front of me. Additionally, if someone like me, who has their arms full with troubles and pains and responsibility, could still be adding value to the world, it's reason enough to continue learning to juggle, or at times simply how to lift with the legs, rather than the back. 

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It's about the world ahead of you, after all. Not the things you can't see, the things you can't change. It's about the determination to grow stronger, smarter, and wiser. The determination to create the world you wish for. I don't write the poetry I do to convince anyone that all hope is lost and the best course of action is to give up. I write it to prove that someone can have those thoughts constantly, and press on anyway because they've decided to create something worth looking forward to. I hope that anyone who reads any of my works can take that lesson away from them. 

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